Some truths can’t be uncovered until the body screams them out. This piece is part two of a multi-part series from my solo shadow work ritual week in Port Ludlow. It explores what happened during my plant medicine journey—and what emerged through my body before my mind could understand.
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We both tried to be the “right shape” for each other. But the cost of fitting in was the death of truth. This is what happens when the whispers become screams—and you realize you’re the only one who can save yourself.
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I thought I knew who I was. But the second plant medicine journey showed me otherwise. What I called “me” was mostly masks—versions shaped to survive, not to be true. This piece isn’t about clarity or resolution. It’s about the hollow aftermath of unraveling. About the 90% that wasn’t mine—and the 10% seed that still is.
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A drive from Santa Fe to Abiquiú became a reckoning — with the myths we’ve been told, the truths we’ve buried, and the freedoms we’ve stolen in the name of progress.
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Have you ever watched a dahlia bloom in slow motion? It doesn’t just open. It unfurls—layer by layer. A cycle of birth, death, and becoming again. This reflection is what bloomed through me after witnessing that.
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Today’s vibe: slowness, sovereignty, and refusing to carry what was never mine. A personal reflection on embodiment, sensitivity, and self-acceptance.
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I carried a jagged glass ball in my throat for decades. Swallowed it to survive. Smiled through it. But silence is a slow death. This is what the voice said when I finally let it speak. A channeled reckoning in shards, smoke, and scream.
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I almost didn’t go. But somewhere between the music, the tears, and the strangers' smiles, something shifted in me. Healing doesn’t always arrive the way we expect. Sometimes it sneaks in through ordinary moments — and the courage to stop hiding who we are.
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A shadow at the foot of the bed. A dream that didn’t end when I opened my eyes. This is a story about fear, awakening, and reclaiming what was frozen.
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We’ve all been told that we need to "find our purpose," but what if that’s not the right approach? In this post, I’m challenging the “find your purpose” narrative and offering a fresh take on living a life full of meaning. It’s not about having everything figured out or finding the one perfect path. It’s about experimenting, exploring what excites your soul, and embracing the constant evolution of who you are. Life is an experiment—there are no wrong answers, just opportunities to grow. So, let go of the pressure to "get it right" and start living a life that feels fulfilling, exciting, and most importantly, uniquely yours.
